Home
by Ralph E. Silvering
Summary: Rey was determined to keep her distance from Ben and their Force Bond after Crait. But a conversation with Leia Organa and Ben's nightmares lead them back together.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Star Wars. I absolutely loved _The Last Jedi_. It's currently my favorite Star Wars movie. Of course, Ben and Rey were the best part, so here is my first attempt at writing a little something for what happens after Rey leaves in the Falcon.

Home

It had been a long few days. That was why it took Rey longer than usual to fight her way out of sleep.

Since fleeing from Crait, Chewie had taken the _Millennium Falcon_ through a series of micro jumps to throw off any pursuit from the First Order. By the time they had reached the tiny, Outer Rim moon of Raada, the hyperdrive had been shot and both Rey and Chewie spent a fraught forty-eight hours making repairs.

The remaining members of the Resistance tried to stay out of their way, save for Poe Dameron – who shouted unhelpful suggestions from all over the ship – the Porgs, who got in everyone's way, and the Princess, who settled her aging and weary bones next to where they worked and quietly offered her opinions on what was wrong based on a lifetime flying aboard the derelict freighter.

By the third day they gave up on the hyperdrive, but by then a fleet of sleek vessels arrived from both New Alderaan and Naboo. Both worlds felt deep loyalty towards Leia Organa and strong ties to the Republic. The largest ship – a Naboo heavy cruiser, sleek and silver, called the _Naberrie_ – took them aboard as they left Raada.

Rey, watching the beautiful, blue-green Mid-Rim world which was Naboo as they approached, only half-listened to Poe explaining to Finn and Rose that this was the home world of the Princess' birth-mother, queen and senator Padmé Amidala.

She could feel Ben across their bond – for a moment she almost thought she saw him, turning quickly towards her from wherever he was – for the first time since she'd shut the door on him back on Crait.

She hadn't wanted to shut the door; she had desperately wanted to reach out to him. But he had made his choice and she'd had a job to do and good people to save.

Now, she could feel his rage, his fear, his despair, echoing through the Force.

Something had…happened.

She clenched a fist tightly, trying to breathe calmly, trying to focus on the hum of the ship. Rose's quiet laugh, the warm glow of the Princess in the Force. Wave after wave of Ben's emotions poured over her until she began to feel dizzy and then…

He was gone.

She drew in a sharp breath, fear burning through her at the sudden, horrifying realization that he could have been –

Leia grabbed her hand, still staring straight ahead through the viewport before her, and unnoticed by the others. Rey's eyes flew to her. General Organa's eyes were tight, but her face was serene. She continued to stare out of the window. The blue-green world continued to grow before them until they breached the atmosphere and were among giant, white fluffy clouds.

"He's fine," the older woman murmured. "Hurt, but alive. He just cut himself off from the Force. Probably aware he was broadcasting too much."

Rey felt herself go cold at the realization that Ben's mother knew how strongly she needed him to be alright. _How did she know? What did she know?_

Leia's lips quirked. "Your emotions are quite loud from this close," she explained, still in that low murmur. The look she shot Rey then was sharp, curious and commanding, and Rey was reminded once more just how strong and how utterly brilliant Princess Leia Organa was. "You'll have to tell me, one day soon, how you can feel my son even more strongly than I do." _And why you care about him_ , remained unsaid.

Poe, Finn and Rose had fallen silent and Rey could feel Poe's gaze on her. It was a leader's gaze, sliding current information into place and finding new questions still to ask. He turned away after a brief look, engaging Finn and Rose in quiet conversation so as not to draw attention to the interplay between his commanding officer and the would-be Jedi, but carefully following it nonetheless.

Rey thought she might like him one day; his incisive gaze reminded her of Ben's careful study of her.

Rey realized Leia was training him well.

And Poe…Poe looked at the older woman with adoration and respect – like he would follow her anywhere.

Rey swallowed a sudden lump in her throat. She gripped Leia's hand tighter as a wave of sadness tried to swamp her. She was still so unbalanced from what had happened in Snoke's throne room. Soon, she would have to tell Leia about that as well. She had merely told the Resistance general that Snoke was dead and Ben had taken his place as head of the First Order.

She forced tears away. "Did you teach…did you teach _Ben_ to lead as you are teaching Poe?"

She had almost said 'rule' but she couldn't think about Ben, hold his hand out to her with such desperate hope in his eyes, just yet.

 _What sort of man offers a woman the galaxy to rule at his side?_

A prince, she realized.

A dark prince. A lost prince, she told herself firmly.

Poe shot them both a shocked look as he heard her question. Then he herded Finn and Rose away and Leia dropped Rey's hand as though burned.

After a long, long moment – during which Rey was sure Leia wouldn't answer and the beautiful, elegant capital city of Theed rose up before them – the princess spoke.

"Ben is my heir and I am, at least officially, the queen of New Alderaan as well as of the remnants of the Alderaanian system. I've never used the title and I leave the Council to rule, but they have informed me that the throne is still mine, and that it is Ben's after me. Yes, I trained him to rule, as my mother and father taught me. He never seemed really interested, though," she admitted. Her voice was distant and strained. Rey wondered what memories she was seeing.

"He does now," she muttered.

That night, Rey tried and failed to sleep to the sounds of tumbling waterfalls in the palace of Theed itself. Fragments of Ben's emotions were leaking through the bond and her thoughts raced too much for her to rest.

The next day she spent the morning in meetings with Naboo officials, but in the afternoon, she escaped back to her room and managed to look around her for the first time.

The water was a soothing hum in her ears. There was peace in this place. After she had unpacked her few, meagre belongings and spent some time watching the waterfalls disappear into the mist below the palace, Rey settled cross-legged on the floor in a patch of sunlight. She closed her eyes and reached out to the energy all around as Luke had taught her. For a long time, she floated, following the currents of people and animals and plants – all life – as they interconnected with one another. Certain people were brighter or warmer n the Force than others. Some, like Rose, appeared as colors. In her case, it was a pinkish-gold color, like the sky at sunset. Poe felt like a firecracker to her, all spark and fire, and Finn felt as warm as the sands of Jakku.

Leia Organa, whose presence in the Force was as bright as a supernova, felt Rey's gentle Force touch. The older woman reached back, fond and warm and gently amused at Rey's questing. There was a new melody woven into Leia's Force signature since Crait, faint and wavering, but still there. It was sweet and tinkling and felt like a song of hope to Rey.

The Jedi apprentice – or Padawan as the old books called those who were learning to be Jedi – wondered what Luke had said to his sister before he'd gone out to confront…Ben.

Ben.

At the thought of him, Rey felt a strange feeling in her stomach and there was a distant tug along their unbroken bond – as if he knew her thoughts had turned back to him. Rey felt an almost overpowering urge to reach out to him once more, to see his face, to listen to his voice.

She firmly squashed the impulse. She had made her choice back on the Falcon. He had looked so lost and broken, kneeling in the ruins of the old Rebellion's command bunker. She had wanted desperately to go to him, but she had done that already back on the _Supremacy_ , and she had failed to turn him back to the light. Until she could find another way, or until he took a step towards redemption of his own volition, she would maintain her distance.

But she wasn't giving up on him. She would never give up on him. As soon as their fingers touched in the hut on Ach-To, she had known that she would never leave him behind; their paths and their souls were joined.

A gentle rapping at the door startled her out of her meditation. Opening her eyes, she realized more time had passed than she'd thought. The sun was a red-orange ball on the horizon and the hallways around her were filled with noisy chatter as people headed down for dinner.

Rising, and wincing from the pins and needles in her arms and legs, Rey went to the door and opened it, only half-surprised at seeing Princess Leia Organa on the other side. Her eyes were tired, and her face was tight, but she smiled at Rey.

"I find I don't really have the stomach to face the Great Hall tonight," the general of the remnants of the Resistance explained.

Rey smiled sympathetically and made to move aside so the older woman could enter, but the princess waved her offer aside. "I was wondering if you weren't feeling the same way." There was a knowing glint in those sharp eyes.

Rey dropped her eyes to the ground. She hadn't told the general about the Force Bond or why she had gone to the _Supremacy_. It was all so complicated and painful, and she was still trying to come to terms with it herself. And there was a part of her that wanted to keep her interactions with Ben just to herself.

He was…hers. The Force had given him to her, and she was determined to keep him.

She hadn't told Luke about him and she had felt Ben's surprise at Snoke's knowledge of their bond. Leia deserved to know, at least part of it, but there were some things Rey wanted to keep private. She suspected, given Leia's knowing gaze, that the other woman had already guessed Rey's secret anyway.

The general never pressed her for more than she was willing to give, so she smiled gratefully at Leia and followed her down the hallway. The Royal Palace of Theed was a light and airy place, and particularly beautiful at sunset when the rays of red-gold light struck the warm-colored stones and suffused every hallway and room with a golden glow.

Rey trotted after the general's quick strides, amazed at the small woman's speed and watching as various Naboo officials and Resistance members called out greetings to her. There was genuine joy in their faces at her presence and Rey could feel their loyalty and respect for her in the Force.

She wondered how much loyalty Ben had earned amongst the First Order, wondered who would be the first person to attempt an assassination to usurp his place, and felt her heart clench traitorously. Was that what she had felt the day before? Poe had told her that General Hux, the leader of the First Order's military, was a slimy, suspicious cur.

Leia led her to the front of the palace, overlooking the city, and down several floors until they came to a magnificent, arched room filled with portraits and statues.

"The memorial to The Clone Wars and The Rebellion against the Empire," the general explained. "The Hall of Kings and Queens is next door."

"Is there a picture of your mother in there?" Rey asked, wondering what Ben's grandmother had looked like and what kind of person she had been.

"My birth-mother," Leia corrected absently, walking through the displays and looking for something. "Padmé Amidala. Queen at 14 and then elected Senator after her two terms were finished. She attempted to halt Palpatine's growing usurpation of power and, when that failed, she heled found the beginnings of the Rebelling alongside my father, Bail Organa."

Rey nodded. "She was like you, then."

Leia snorted, finally finding what she was looking for. "She was much more idealistic than I ever was. Come look at this one."

Rey stood next to her and surveyed the flickering hologram in front of them.

Men with the same face – soldiers, clones, she realized – in blue-white and yellow-white armor, stood in orderly rows. In the middle of this rather uniform group stood two men and a young Togruta female. The younger of the two men, a cocky grin on his face and his arms loped around the shoulders of his companions, stood at the center. The girl had a bright, beaming smile and the older, bearded man wore a faintly long-suffering, though fond, expression on his face.

All three carried lightsabers on their belts. "Jedi," she breathed.

"Anakin Skywalker," Princess Leia said, waving towards the cocky man at the center. "General of the 501st Legion during the Clone Wars. That is his Padawan, Commander Ahsoka Tano, and his Master, General Obi-Wan Kenobi of the 212th Battalion."

Anakin Skywalker had Ben's beautiful, wavy hair, even if the color was different.

Rey nodded, even as she tried to take in every detail of these three Jedi Knights from legend. Even on Jakku, the old timers still talked about the horrors of the Clone Wars and the legendary exploits of Kenobi and Skywalker.

"It was Obi-Wan Kenobi who save my brother and I," Leia continued. She sounded almost wistful as she gazed at the bearded man's kind face. "My father was good friends with him and told me so many stories, but I only learned much later that without General Kenobi, Palpatine would have taken Luke and I when the Republic fell. He spent the rest of his life watching over Luke on Tatooine." She paused, then added, "He went by the name of 'Ben' there."

Ben Solo, Leia's only son, named for Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Rey followed the princess to the next hologram. The Togruta girl, Ahsoka, was much older here – tall and elegant – with wise, calm eyes, two lightsaber hilts on her belt, and one hand resting on –

"Artoo!" Rey cried, surprised. The little, blue and white astromech was bright and shiny in the hologram.

Leia was smiling. "Artoo and Threepio were Padmé and Anakin's originally. They have been in the family a long time. He and Ahsoka went on many adventures together in the early days of the Rebellion. Maybe you can convince him to tell you some of those stories one day."

She moved on to the last picture. It was of a younger Leia and Luke, standing with a grizzled, old man. "It was Ahsoka who taught me how to meditate. She never said I was Force-sensitive, but looking back at it, she taught me the rudiments of how to control the Force should I ever touch it."

Rey studied the last hologram. Leia had been extremely beautiful in her youth. It had faded with age, but those deep, dark eyes – Ben's eyes – remained the same. "Do you think she knew you were Anakin Skywalker's daughter?"

Leia was quiet for a time. "I think she knew," she said at last. "I always knew she loved me. I thought of her as yet another Aunt – I had many growing up – and my father simply adored her."

"Bail Organa or Anakin?"

Leia's smile was hard to describe. "Both from what I gather."

Rey had been studying the last hologram intently. "This is one of the clones," she guessed.

"Yes, Captain Rex of the 501st. He was close with…my birth father. And of course, with Ahsoka and Obi-Wan as well. When he learnt who Luke and I were, he was…overjoyed. We never had the heart to tell him what happened to Anakin." Leia's voice caught for a moment. "And he was fiercely protective of Ben from the first instant he held him as a baby."

Oh, there was so much regret in her voice and echoing through the Force, that it was hard for Rey to bear.

Leia was silent as Rey looked at more holograms – holonet articles from the Clone Wars, old Rebel mission briefs, Republic and New Republic Senate motions and bills from Padmé and Bail and Leia, one of Master Kenobi's old cloaks…Ahsoka Tano's original lightsabers, green and a yellow-green shoto.

"Why are you showing me all this?" Rey asked when she was done looking her fill, hushed and awed.

Leia's dark eyes were as fathomless as Ben's were, deep pools of feeling, when he looked at her. Rey felt her stomach twist again.

"This exhibit is called The Skywalker Collection." Her smile was wry. "All of these people, related or not, loved each other. They considered each other family and they loved my brother and I, because they chose my father, Anakin, as their family. Bail and Breha Organa chose me as well. They will always be my parents, my family, because of that. It was something I learned from them – and something which I see here in this remembrance – that family isn't just blood. It's who you choose, and who chooses you."

That night Rey couldn't sleep.

Her nights had been erratic since she'd left Crait and often she'd found sleep elusive and transitory. Regrets would burn through her. Over and over she saw Han fall, felt Luke's shame and remorse at his past actions, was embarrassed to think she could have brought Ben back to the light after he had suffered years of abuse and manipulation and abandonment by those he had loved and chosen to be loyal to.

Every night she heard the pain in his voice as he begged her to stay with him.

She hadn't been able to stay. Even though it tore her soul in two to cause him pain, he was going down a path she could not follow.

And now she couldn't sleep. All she needed was –

There was the familiar sound of a void rushing up, causing her ears to pop, and then, between one heartbeat and the next, he was there. The ever-present roar of the waterfalls was muted behind the windows and his breathing was loud and erratic in the silence of the room.

Rey rolled over and could just make out his tall frame, turned away from her, as he lay on the bed. He was still and faintly twitching, plainly not at rest as he suffered through some sort of nightmare. She raised a hand to reach out to him but then paused, biting her lip in thought. This was the first time she had seen him since Crait and he was locked in private torments, asleep. She had no idea how welcome her presence would be.

He was warm, though, and he was here. His silky hair was glinting softly in the moonlight peaking in from the windows and she longed to run her hands through it.

She had no idea if what she was doing was the right think, but she'd never let that stop her before and she had to do something. He was here, and he was suffering.

She reached out and rested a gentle hand between his broad shoulder blades. "Ben," she called softly. His hectic breathing stilled and the muscles beneath her fingers tensed.

His response was immediate and violent. In one movement he had ripped himself away from her touch and, turning, was on her, eyes wild like a wounded animal, his hands hard on her shoulders, pinning her beneath his weight.

Rey was used to wounded, desperate people. She remained still, her eyes on his in the darkness. His face was pasty-pale, and he looked unwell, but his hair hung down in a soft curtain. Her eyes dropped down to his full lips, slightly parted. After a moment, she realized that he was attempting to match his harsh breathing to her own calm, even ones.

"Rey?" he asked at last, hesitant, his voice a harsh, gravelly mess.

"Yes," she said, simply.

His eyes closed in wordless relief and an unidentifiable emotion cross his face. His arms were trembling. He opened his eyes again and looked down at her, finally seeming to realize their relative positions on her bed. His pale cheeks tinted pink. "Sorry," he muttered, sounding embarrassed and made to move off her.

Rey's hands darted up, one settling against his cheek, the other going to the back of his neck and tangling in his dark, slightly damp hair. His skin was slightly feverish, and his dark eyes were wet. She tugged. "It's alright," she told him. "Just…stay."

His breath caught, and his wild eyes settled completely into calmness as he carefully studied her face. Rey nodded, once, and then drew his head gently downwards until he was resting against her. His arms gave out then and he collapse onto her, face buried into her nightshirt and arms going around her middle to hold onto her.

"I can't sleep anymore," he admitted, his voice still rough and sounding desperate. "I can't here…there isn't anything in my head anymore. It's too…the silence is deafening."

Rey ran soothing fingers through his hair, trying to parse through his rambling explanation and thinking about something Leia had told her when she'd learned Snoke was dead.

"Your mother," she began hesitantly, and although he stiffened, he appeared to be listening. Rey got out in a rush. "Your mother thinks Snoke was in your head before you were even born."

He didn't respond to this, but she could tell he was thinking about it.

At last, more hesitantly still, she asked, "Did you always hear voices?" There had been more fury in Leia's face and voice when she spoke about Snoke's manipulation of Ben than Rey had ever heard from her. It was easy to see the resemblance between them in that moment.

Ben sighed and shifted a bit, so he could speak. He was a warm, comforting weight in her arms.

"It wasn't a voice." She could tell he as frowning. "It was a…I couldn't even tell it was there until it was…" He made a wordless sound of frustration. "How do you explain what's different about your own mind! You're only in your own mind!"

His rage was hot and sudden, like the fierce sand storms on Jakku which seemed to appear from nowhere.

He was tense again against her body and made to pull away from her – perhaps to protect her from his anger, perhaps because he couldn't bear her touch at the moment – but she held onto him doggedly.

"But he's gone now," she said, quickly. "Whatever he was doing in your mind, he's gone now." She winced at the hope in her voice.

"Ben's laugh was harsh and bitter. "Yet, now _you're_ in my head."

Her heart was thumping loudly in her ears and she suddenly felt sick. If he wanted to break their bond and leave her truly alone…

"Does that bother you?" _Is it bad? Do you want to leave me?_ She silently asked. It would be easier if he left; if they managed to break the bond; if she could just seem him as only an enemy and not as Leia and Han's son, Luke's nephew,...and the person she was….

He was silent for long moments as Rey tried not to breathe and she felt him absently tracing patterns into her nightshirt against her back. She shivered in the clammy air. Naboo was too cold and damp at night for her liking. Ach-To had been better – warm and misty.

Ben's fingers stopped their restless movements. "Are you cold?" he demanded. "Where are you?"

"Not in a desert," she said, and he snorted.

"I figured as much. Let's see…cool, damp, the smell of flowers and marble…the sound of waterfalls…" Pause. "You're on Naboo. Strong ties to my mother and not even she sould be so foolish as to return to New Alderaan." He sounded triumphant, like he had solved a puzzle at first glance, and Rey felt suddenly sick.

He must have sensed her distress. "Don't worry," he murmured, and he sounded slightly hazy now. Rey looked down and saw that his eyes were closed. "I'm too busy consolidating my power over the military and setting up a capital on Coruscant, to chase my mother and her paltry band of rebels." He yawned and snuggled closer into her. "Soon though, I promise." His voice was fading.

He was wrapped so tightly around Rey that she was finally warm. She ran her hand through his hair again. It really was as soft as it looked, and smelled like something rich and warm, perhaps cinnamon. He hummed at her touch. His voice was as faint as a whisper when he said, "No, I don't mind…that you're here…in my head…It's probably the best thing…" He drifted off into sleep.

… _to have ever happened to me, remained unsaid,_ but Rey heard it.

Rey looked up then, towards the door. Leia stood there, a dark shadow amongst the slate-grey gloom of the hallway. Rey hadn't even heard her bypass the lock. Now, the general stood staring at her prodigal son.

The Jedi-in-training tried to discreetly remove her hands from Ben's hair, all the while feeling that somewhere in the Force, Han and Luke were laughing at her predicament.

"Hey." She attempted to go for casual, all the while keeping her voice to barely above a whisper. "He's asleep."

The moonlight – dim but enough to see by – had drifted over to the bed, and Rey knew Leia could clearly make out Ben, wrapped in her arms, with his face turned towards his mother and his hair drifting softly around him. The sight was a contrast of whites and blacks, light and shadow, Ben's black hair over his snow-white skin.

Rey watched Leia as she moved closer, her dark eyes roaming over he son, a hungry and disbelieving look in them. When she was right next to the bed, all the strength seemed to have deserted her and she dropped to her knees besides the Supreme Commander of the First Order.

"They're talking about crowning him Emperor," Leia murmured, still not moving to touch him.

 _Emperor Kylo Ren_ , Rey wondered. _Emperor Ben Solo. Ben Organa?_

"If he uses my last name," Leia continued softly, as though she had read Rey's mind, "the Elder Houses would be more willing to back him as Emperor."

There were moments when it really hit Rey that Leia was a princess from an Ancient House, and Ben was a prince. This was one of them.

The prince in question sighed in his sleep and his stomach grumbled.

A sudden smile appeared on Leia's lips. "He always did forget to eat when he got busy with something."

"He hasn't been sleeping," Rey admitted. "He says it's too quiet in his mind, now."

Leia was silent for a moment. At last, she reached out and crushed Ben's hair away from his eyes. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips to her son's temple. "Maybe he can finally make his own choices now." She stroked gentle fingers down his cheek. "My poor child," she whispered. "No matter what happens, I will always love you."

She stood then, eyes flicking to Rey, who was trying to pretend she hadn't heard such a private moment.

"I'll start the preparations to leave Naboo immediately." And with that – and one final lingering look at her only child – the last Princess of Alderaan left to save the remnants of the Republic.

Rey stayed where she was, Ben sleeping soundly in her arms. She remembered what Leia had said about family, about those you chose to be loyal to.

She had chosen Finn and Han, Chewie and Leia and BB-8, Luke, and now Rose and Poe. She had chosen Ben. He wasn't entirely lost to the dark; there was still light in him.

Glancing down once more, she saw dark hair, his dramatic nose, and those full lips parted gently as he dreamed. One day she was going to kiss those lips. One day she was going to throw herself in his arms and he would hold her close while they stood together to face the future.

But for now, she held him close as she fell asleep.

 _Where are you?_ He had asked her.

 _I'm with family_ , she thought, _I'm home_.


End file.
